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Counseling · Bullying and safety

Bullying and safety

StopBullying.gov says: “Bullying is being mean to another kid over and over again.” It is never your fault. Telling an adult is brave, not tattling.

For you, by grade

My grade:
Grades K-2

Be safe, tell

  • Use a strong voice: “Stop! I don’t like that.”
  • Walk away to a grown-up.
  • Tell a grown-up. Telling is how you get help.
  • Be a buddy: sit with someone who is alone.
Grades 3-5

Rude, mean or bullying?

  • Rude = one time, by accident. Mean = on purpose, once. Bullying = mean, on purpose, over and over.
  • Tell an adult and keep telling until it stops.
  • Stand up for others: stand with them, walk away together, tell an adult.
Grades 6-8

In person and online

  • Online meanness counts too. Do not answer it and do not forward it.
  • Save screenshots, then block and report in the app.
  • Tell your school counselor or the Dignity Act Coordinator.
  • Use the planner on this page to write what happened.
Grades 9-12

Know your rights

  • Harassment and discrimination at school are against NY law (DASA).
  • Keep a log: dates, times, what happened, who saw.
  • Threats, sexual images, stalking or hate crimes: tell an adult and report to police.
  • Someone asking you for pictures or threatening to share them: it is not your fault. Get help now.

Cyberbullying and online safety

What it is

“Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets.” It can happen in texts, apps, social media, forums, email and games (StopBullying.gov).

Why it hurts: it can go on all day and night, it can stay online, and adults may not see it.

Steps to take

  1. Do not respond and do not forward.
  2. Save proof: screenshots, dates, times.
  3. Block the person.
  4. Report it to the app or game.
  5. Tell an adult and the school.
  6. Threats of violence, sexual images, stalking or hate crimes: report to police.

Someone online asking for pictures?

Stop chatting, do not send anything, and tell a trusted adult. You or an adult can report to the CyberTipline (National Center for Missing & Exploited Children), 24 hours a day: 1-800-843-5678 or report.cybertip.org.

Family online rules (FTC tips)

  • Use everyday moments, like a news story, to start the talk.
  • Be clear about what is off-limits online.
  • Repeat the message in small doses.
  • Keep listening, even if your child made a mistake online.

My plan to tell an adult

Write what happened. Then print it or show it on screen to a trusted adult. Nothing is sent or saved. Leave anything blank.

What kind? (pick any)

New York's Dignity for All Students Act (DASA)

What it says

“No student shall be subjected to discrimination, harassment, or bullying (including cyberbullying)” by school employees or students. It took effect July 1, 2012; cyberbullying was added in 2013.

It covers school property, a school bus and school functions. Off-campus cyberbullying is covered when it may create a risk of substantial disruption at school.

Who is protected

Every student, including harassment or bullying because of actual or perceived race (including traits like hair texture and protective hairstyles), color, weight, national origin, ethnic group, religion, religious practice, disability, sexual orientation, gender (including gender identity and expression) or sex.

Every school has a Dignity Act Coordinator

At least one staff member at every school is trained to address harassment, bullying and discrimination. Their name and contact must be shared with staff, students and families. The coordinator leads or supervises a thorough investigation of reports and makes sure it is completed promptly. Reports can be made anonymously.

Rules for school staff

A staff member who sees or hears about it must tell the principal, superintendent or their designee orally within one school day, and file a written report within two school days after that. (8 NYCRR §100.2(jj) and §100.2(kk).)

For families

If your child is bullied

  1. Stay calm and thank your child for telling you.
  2. Write down what, where, when and who saw. Save screenshots.
  3. Contact the teacher and ask for the Dignity Act Coordinator's name.
  4. Put your report in writing (email is fine) and keep a copy.
  5. Ask: “What happens next, and when will you update me?”
  6. Keep checking in with your child.

Note to the school

Dear [Dignity Act Coordinator or principal], I am writing to report bullying/harassment of my child, [first name], grade [grade]. What happened: [short facts]. When and where: [dates, places]. Who saw it: [if known]. I have [screenshots/notes] I can share. Please investigate under the Dignity for All Students Act and tell me the next steps and when I will hear back. Thank you, [Your name, phone, email]

Still need help?

  • Ask the district office who oversees DASA.
  • NYSED Student Support Services: (518) 486-6090, SSEC@nysed.gov.
  • Danger, threats or sexual images: call 911 or the police.

For teachers

Your DASA steps

  1. Stop it safely and support the student.
  2. Oral report to the principal, superintendent or designee within one school day.
  3. Written report within two school days after the oral report.
  4. Keep it private; share only with people who need to know.

Teach it

  • Practice the difference between rude, mean and bullying.
  • Teach “upstander” moves: stand with, walk away together, tell.
  • Post the Dignity Act Coordinator's name in your room.
  • SEL Benchmarks Goal 2: relationships that “nurture a strong sense of belonging.”

Sources

General information to help students, families and teachers. It is not medical, mental health or legal advice, and it does not replace your school counselor, school psychologist, school social worker, doctor or a licensed professional.

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